tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
