After last night, I could never be a politician.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
