just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
