I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
NoShamevember. You game?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Randomize
