just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Someone shattered a urinal.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
