I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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