The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
