He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
