: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Randomize
