I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
