Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
i've created a new STD.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
