Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
