Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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