this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
