belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
