My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
