kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
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Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
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I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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