i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
