32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
