someone threw a dead crab at me
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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