Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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