He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
