If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
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