she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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