Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
