just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
