You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
