You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
