all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
