I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
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