I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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