I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
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