its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
