i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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