Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
