thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
