ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
