Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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