Plan B is the new Plan A
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
