It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize