If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
