wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
