There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
zippers are such a cool invention
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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