i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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