My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
