I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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