oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
