i would punch a child for taco bell
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
