she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
