I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
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