I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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