She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Girls should come with a carfax report
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
