Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
