im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I love black thongs
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
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