thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction