I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism