yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
