Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
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He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
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You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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