so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
