i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
