will power is for people who don't want to get laid
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
