my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize