umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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