I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
