I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
