tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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