Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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