Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
