Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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