$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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